


even the stars, they burn.

by cp035



Series: Tumblr Prompts [3]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2571749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cp035/pseuds/cp035
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr Prompt: "What happens doesn't change anything." </p><p>An injury takes Meryl and Charlie out of their comeback season.</p>
            </blockquote>





	even the stars, they burn.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [footnoterphone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/footnoterphone/gifts).



> Angst that is not at all funny; for the one person who *loves* sad things like this. Enjoy!

It's just a broken ankle (granted; it's bad enough that Meryl gets a muttered " _crazy kids don't know when to shut it down_ " from her orthopedic surgeon before he puts her under- which despite the situation, doesn't escape her because _really- what an_ inconsiderate _jerk_ ) but it may as well be what feels like 23-hour lockdown, as aptly described by the Discovery Channel documentary on the _Worlds' Hardest Prisons_ , which she watches as it's listed under related videos beside the latest episode of _Orange is The New Black._

 

It had been _Clayton's_ idea to take a brother-sister trip to Vail, because he hadn't seen enough of her and his boss got them a steep discount at the lodge. It had also been his idea to double-dare her to go down his favorite run; and the second she'd jumped off the lift, she felt the crack and heard herself gasp with the sudden shock of pain.

 

"You're really lucky.", said the EMT on ski patrol duty. "Don't quote me on that to your insurance, but hey, I call it a miracle every time there's no head injury. There's some gnarly shit which goes down on this hill. Blood and brains flying around. Double Black Diamond, though- what else did you expect?", he tried to joke, while Clayton's already pale face blanched under his ski helmet and goggles.

 

"Mom and Dad are going to _kill_ you.", she hissed.

 

"Yeah, but I'll make sure to tell them you fell for the good old _double-doggy dare_ before I get all my organs ripped out. Good luck and see you in heaven, sis.", he had chuckled, gripping her hand between his gloves. "Just try _not_ to think right now. It'll hurt less."

 

* * *

 

 

One week later; and she had entirely too much time to do just _that_.

 

No skating. No tennis, no yoga, no runs in the park or visits with her friends. No driving, no shopping, not even her condo- since a second floor may as well be Mount Everest- necessitating a stay at her parents', who are smothering, stifling, and have entirely too much time on their hands, though Meryl can't really fault them for just being _happy_ to have her back home again.

 

"We're _semi_ -retired.", her father tells her over dinner (which was _great_ \- meat, potatoes, and string beans, regrettably tossed up last night), and it takes all of her strength in the morning not to call the bank and cancel her extremely premature retirement savings plan, just in case she follows in their footsteps, repainting the living room for the fifth time in five years or playing games of _Risk_ with their doped-up daughter because there's really nothing else they can do.

 

Meryl is just about ready to puke into the orange Right to Play bucket the Shibutanis generously gifted her when he bursts through her bedroom door, a box of pizza cradled under one arm like a huge, greasy, book, and a backpack slung over his other shoulder- like all of her teenage dreams come to life.

 

"You look like _shit._ ", laughs Charlie, and she can't help the smile that tugs at the corner of lips, too.She's missed him over the past few days, his voice, his incessant laughter, and his huge _, sunny,_ smile, out in full force despite the gray sheets of snow outside.

 

"Luckily, I've been spared the _horror_ of my own face. The mirror-", Meryl points out, "-is over _there_. As you can see, a little bit out of reach."

 

Charlie follows her gaze across the room, and nods, before turning back to her with a sympathetic grin.

 

"It's really for the best.", he tells her, his eyes darting around her bed, where she has spent the past two-and-a-half days after getting out of the hospital watching terrible midday television and trying to choke down her mother's spaghetti in between painkillers, which Meryl tries to avoid for as long as possible, because the stupid pink pills make her sicker than she's ever felt in her life.

 

That's saying something, considering that in the past year and a half, she's probably ingested enough airport sushi and mixed Starbucks frappes to feed a small island country, and yet- here they are, anyway.

 

Charlie throws the backpack onto the carpet, and lays the pizza box over a pillow on her bed. Meryl has half a mind to remind him that grease is tough to get out of sheets, and her mother will kill them both when it's time for her to do laundry, but she thinks better of it as he flips open the box.

 

"Veggie Delight. You can eat all of it, because as you know-"

 

"- _you_ think it's disgusting.", she fills in, reaching for a slice. It's still warm and delightfully greasy as she stuffs it into her mouth.

 

"-mm, just gonna tell you, I'll probably be throwing up in a few minutes, so-"

 

"Oh, yeah- you'll never believe-", Charlie starts, bending down to unzip his backpack. "It took me...um, eighteen- _I think_ , now- years; but I've come fully prepared for anything you might want to spew my way.", he says, as he pulls an umbrella out of its side pocket.

 

" _Jesus_.", she starts laughing, nearly spitting the olive and broccoli in her mouth right at his face. "How long?"

 

"I've been planning since the minute I heard. Sharna always said I had _great_ unintentional sight gag game."

 

"Oh, you've got _game_ now. What else did I miss?"

 

"So much. I got a _third_ dog. You've been out for a long time.", he says, stretching out his vowels, and she can't help but smile.

 

Charlie is shaking his head to get the hair out of his eyes, and as she looks over, patting the empty side of her bed as an invitation, he's just like Carrie Ann from Dancing With The Stars, when they did it- told him.

 

_Baryshnikov of the ballroom._

 

He looks like he does when they've just come off the ice; his face flushed and his skin damp from running inside out of the sleet; the slightly too-old stretched out sweater he's half-tucked into his pants pulling away from his belt.

 

He looks like it should be six in the morning; and she should be flying across the ice in his arms- spinning away from the boards, and that's about the time she starts crying.

 

* * *

 

 

"God- _I fucked it up_. Charlie...I really, _really_ , fucked up."

 

"Hey...c'mon. It's not your fault.", he whispers, by her side on the bed in a second. "It was an _accident_ , okay? Even _perfect_ people have accidents.", Charlie teases, playing with her admittedly unkempt hair as he sits, cross-legged, his eyes searching hers.

 

"No- I was being _stupid_ and now-"

 

"Gotta do that at least once before you die, you know."

 

" _Charlie._ ", Meryl sighs, wiping furiously at her wet cheeks with the sleeve of her plaid Christmas pyjamas, the only pair she had at her parents', " _Stop that._ "

 

"Okay. _Okay._ " He drops the plait of her hair and fixes her with a smile that still swims in her eyes.

 

"Does it hurt?"

 

"Kind of. Not as much if I take all my meds, but I'd rather be in pain than vomit up my internal organs so..."

 

"I understand the struggle.", Charlie chuckles lightly, squeezing her hand. He reaches over her, to her bedside table, and shakes the yellow bottle beside her lamp. "You know, Meryl, if you take two pills like you're _supposed_ to, instead of just the one- they knock you right out and you sleep through most of the nausea."

 

"Yeah, but I don't...want to, um- _miss_ anything.", she mumbles; hoping Charlie will be just as oblivious to the distinct _lack_ of anything going on.

 

"I think you should. Because you shouldn't-", his voice catches in the back of his throat, his eyes drifting across the room.

 

They've spent some time, since the Olympics; over the summer, especially, trying to get to know themselves, _apart_. But, Charlie; smart and sensitive and smoothed out inside like the bubbling riverbanks in the summer; knows her well enough never to call her _weak_ to her face.

 

"-If it hurts bad enough that _you're_ crying...you know, you should just take your damn pills. I've _heard_ pain is sexy, but-"

 

She laughs at that; harsh and barking- even though Charlie lights up like he's under the spotlight of the world's biggest arena; _again_ \- and she'd be lying if she didn't say it was the look that suited him best.

 

"I will...but later, okay?", she offers, hoping, _maybe_ \- the distance between them now is enough that he can take her compromise.

 

He shakes his head, and that alone makes Meryl want to scream.

 

"One now, and then a drink, and then the other one. Then I'm going to put on the first _Lord of The Rings_ , and you'll be out before we even get to see the-"

 

"Charlie. _Stop it._ "

 

"Yeah, _obviously_. Then when you wake up, I'll un-pause it."

 

"No. _This_.", she shakes her head violently, and jabs a bitten nail into the center of his chest. "You _can't_ \- just... _be nice to me like we're best friends and nothing is wrong with this picture right now after I_ -" her throat is threatening to shut with each swallowed tear, and if there were one thing that was truly necessary in the current moment, Meryl begged of herself- it was not _crying_ like a weak little girl while she had this conversation with him.

 

Their lives had been made of conversation, stilted and awkward, supervised by their parents when they had first met; blossoming into the deep, long, talks about foreign policy and the collapse of the auto industry that had made them feel like the smartest freshmen in college- and then settling into an uneasy peace; where she called him drunk to babble about the lights in Times Square, and he called her sober to ask which vacation she'd find the best if she were his wife.

 

Yet; she had never, even in the two days of having nothing to do but think, imagined having _this one_.

 

" _I took away your comeback season_.", Meryl says; half in a whisper to the heavy, empty, air in her room.

 

His eyes darken suddenly, and she can feel the slightest tremor in his hand, resting on her shoulder.

 

" _Charlie_ , I- wasn't thinking. I was so, _so_ , stupid and I never thought about the- _consequences_ ; wanting to ski that _stupid_ hill like I was-", she was choking then; _embarrassingly_ so- letting the cable-knit of his cream sweater soak up her sobs.

 

"God, it's just not f- _it isn't fair_.", she cries, absolutely mortified. She feels Charlie's chest move, as if to say something- and is entirely surprised when the breath caught in his lungs turns instead to him shifting over on to his side, his arms bracing themselves around her as though they've always been there.

 

Charlie is _warm_ , steady as she's learned to expect.

 

"Don't _ever_ say that again.", he tells her in a low, gentle, voice. "I didn't want- _...fuck_."

 

He lowers his head, his chin pressing against her collarbone.

 

" _Shhh._ Listen to me, okay? Things probably seem really bad right now but as someone who's been _exactly_ where you are- Meryl, I swear that this definitely isn't the absolute worst that could happen. If... _we_ want to have that third world title, there's _lots_ of time still to make it happen once you're feeling better. Is that okay?"

 

"Charlie; _we can't_.", she forces out. "People...come back from injuries when they're seventeen, but not when they're twenty-eight, not after-...I wasn't kidding about _really_ fucking it up, okay- I mean, while I really am doped up and emotional and _gross_ , they had to put a couple screws and a plate in, so I-... _there won't be another season_. I'm so, _so_ , sorry-"

 

Charlie's breath rushes out of his body in a whistle; low and wet. His mouth opens, and closes, and finally, he says; "So, then, _we don't_. We already have... _everything_ , anyway."

 

She scoffs and shakes her head, half-braided hair coming down like a curtain over her eyes.

 

"Maybe. But _Tessa and Scott_ are-"

 

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ."

 

His head hits the carved oak headboard behind them with a low thunk.

 

"How the _fuck_ is this still a thing? What are you gonna do when Tessa gets _married_? _Find the first asshole who'll stick his dick in you and go to Vegas_? What if she has a _kid_? _Are you gonna try to have twins just to get the one-up on Tessa_ fucking _Virtue_? Oh, but maybe Tessa gets a job as- I don't _fucking_ know- a _fashion designer_ , or whatever. What are _you_ going to do then? _Throw away that degree you worked so hard for and try to draw cute little dresses just to prove that whatever she can do, you'll do on the next level, so you can tell yourself it doesn't matter that everyone says she's prettier when you're the better one, clearly."_

 

"That's _low._ ", she seethes, shoving him away as much as she can on a pink tartan-sheeted double bed.

 

"I have _three_ sisters and I'm _married_ , Meryl. You know none of what I said is a lie.", he shoots back, the irritation and bubbling anger clear in his eyes. "You're lying in bed beating yourself up over a fucking _accident_ , and don't even lie to me when I say that right now, _everything_ hurts enough that you can't even see straight because the only pills you've even taken are the ones your _Mom_ shoves down your throat. _Forgive me for being a fucking rude dickwad who actually cares about his best friend enough to call her out._ ", Charlie spits, instantly regretting his outburst as she angles away from him, pulling her chin into her chest. 

 

"Sorry- _I'm sorry._ "

 

" _No_.", she says; her voice suddenly harsh and scraping as she reaches for the pill bottle, then shakes out three pink tablets. " _Charlie_ , just put on the movie."

 

He blinks, she dry swallows and shoots him a look of pure contempt.

 

"Wha- are you _sure_? You don't want to...um, Meryl; I didn't mean it like _that_. I really didn't want to-"

 

"I don't care. Charlie, I'm so _tired._ And I'm not thinking right now and I just want to sleep, okay? Let's just...see how much of the marathon I can get into, okay?"

 

" _Meryl-_ "

 

" _Before I say something stupid, too._ "

 

* * *

 

 

He carefully fishes her laptop from the bottom shelf of the bedside table, and pulls a DVD case from his backpack. _Click, click, open he disk drive, open the case, click, click._ He doesn't look up to meet her eyes, and her gaze is trained to the window; where sleet drips down from her roof to the glass.

 

"Should we...watch it with commentary?"

 

"Fine."

 

She melts into his side, and his arm settles over her shoulders, squeezing her just slightly into his side.

 

"We're going to talk later. We need to talk about... _a lot_.", he murmurs, just under the director's introduction.

 

"I know."

 

For the most part, though; they stay quiet- and Meryl is _grateful_.

 

"This... _sweater_. You're really- um, _soft_.", she slurs, sleepily, and Charlie just grins down at her while she burrows into his chest.

 

"Thanks, it's machine-washable.", he jokes, and she smiles while her eyes flutter closed.

 

"I know. I like your washing machine. _Love_ it."

 

"Okay, goodnight, Meryl. _Shhhh_. You need to sleep, okay?"

 

" _'kay_. Just be here when I-...wake up."

 

" _I will._ "

 

* * *

 

 

He listens to her breathing slow, tracing the pattern on her sweater with his fingers on her back while she sleeps, her head rising and falling with his breath. He can't quite resist toying with her hair until the motion lulls him into a sleepy state himself, and he hardly notices her parents call for dinner. What he does hear, is Paul Davis clambering up the stairs, cutlery and half-filled plates clinking in his hands- and for a moment, Charlie remembers just how _compromising_ the position he's in actually is.

 

"You staying the night?", Paul asks him, in the doorway and Charlie just shrugs.

 

There are still his old clothes in Cheryl's extra drawers; from when they didn't have to ask. The Davises have a nice shower, and Cheryl's a good cook.

 

"You want to use the phone? To call Tanith, just so she knows where you are?", he asks again, and then, it dawns on Charlie what the question is in the first place.

 

"I...I'm gonna leave. I just...wanted to make sure Meryl got to sleep okay. Not that she's been asleep for very long. We were watching this um, you know, we were gonna have a _Lord of the Rings_ marathon- which she likes and I...think her meds kicked in and I just wanted to finish the movie. _Movies._ Plural."

 

"Charlie...-"

 

" _I know_. I'm going."

 

"I just want you to know...you shouldn't have to _explain_ yourself if you wanted to stay. Not to me", he chuckles, before sighing, and offering Charlie a look he can only describe as tired. "But not to your _wife_ , either. Stay if you want. She can call me if she has a problem and _we_ can have a nice talk."

 

"Wait, _really?_ ", Charlie almost scrambles up from the bed in shock and (he'll never admit) a thinly veiled jubilation Paul can see glowing on his face.

 

"Yeah. I mean- I've been married for a _really long time_ , you know? Stuff happens, and the girl you love should know that _what happens doesn't change anything_. She's your _friend_ , Charlie. You don't just leave your buddies hanging because you're married, right? That's old school _stupid_. Come down for dinner. We can, you know; watch the game and you guys can keep watching your movie once she's awake again."

 

" _Um_. Yeah...okay.", he agrees too quickly, mutters too low under his breath and rushes past Paul down the stairs.

 

Meryl finds herself awake several hours later, a plate of food waiting on Charlie's khaki-clad lap beside her; his face warm and inviting.

 

"Your mom made your favorite, chicken and cheese-covered broccoli."

 

She nods, and pulls herself up, braced against him while he reaches for her laptop and starts their movie again.

 

They _don't_ talk.

 

But he mouths each line along with her, and for now, it's _all_ she really wants.


End file.
